Wednesday, March 31, 2010

mau mau mau.....

saya mau burasak & asam pedas.
saya mau air apokat.
saya mau pisang ijau.
saya mau es teler.

saya juga mau soda gembira (dgn harapan bleh menggumbirakn saya)....~


Sunday, March 28, 2010


hot day, sunburn..
bbq pit issue...
got mixed up with the date,
missed MyPSA AGM the same evening...
mcm kanak-kanak riang x?? (minus me who's not kanak-kanak)

Friday, March 26, 2010


today is Friday.. in an hour, will be Saturday.

roughly marked my 23rd day back to Sydney. ever since i came back, i've been a vegetarian. not that i want to, but coz i had to. with owh so many things going on, i had to be very stingy on everything i spend.

apart from the rent, bills and debts; i only left with food consumption.

i've made it a rule to only eat 1 pack of pasta/macaroni ,or 1 cup of rice ,or bread and a pack of maggi per day. basically, everything is to be divided to 3 meals.. and only max of 2 bags of choc chips cookies and 2 bottles of milk per month.

rice, so far are eaten with vegetables only. despite Dear saying that is actually got for my skin, i so want to eat chicken curry now!! and the fact that he sometimes accidentally blurted out foods he's eating back home (like nasi ayam, cendol) made me soo jealous of him.

so far i'm doing ok, except that i hv this craving for cookies almost at all time. i'm not hungry, just that i want to munch smthg.. hmmm....

Thursday, March 25, 2010

cute little fella

ok.. it's 2am..
after taking Dear's advise of taking a shower & Panadol tablets
before i go to bed few hours back,
i still cant sleep..
so here is a random pic comment..
this cute little boy was running around the living room during the Maulidur Rasul's reception at MakDik's last month. He was quite shy but like to touch everything that looked interesting.
And yes, he didnt wore that undies when he first arrived with his parents.

U see, while everybody else was eating.. He came to almost everyone there looking at their plates.. I was sitting on the floor and eating, and Udin's plate was there (but he was gone for a call).. this boy kept circling me until...

HE ended up on my plate. yes, no mistakes there. he tripped and fell right in there.

that's how he became one sexy boy.. after that, he will look at me and says "ye.. ye..."..
nakal.. nakal...

Wednesday, March 24, 2010


not feeling that well...

feels like my body is burning inside out..
feels like smthg is stuck at my throat that i wanna puke..
feels like smthg is crawling in the nerves on my head coz smtimes it ache, smtimes it's still..

is it that time?
cant remember whether i already got my annual sick-day for last yr or not...

Saturday, March 20, 2010

me cats~

mcm menarik je bende ni.. de org gerak2...
if only i'm there....
mmm... xdtg pn drang kt aku...
tdo lg best ah...
few mins later...
koleq.. koleq....

Friday, March 19, 2010

almost died >> class skipping

yesterday, i had my 1st dream of almost being killed and me killing somebody. it's the weirdest ever and had me thinking for a very long time when i woke up. why.. did i dreamt such a dream??? and how am i capable of doing that, without a single bit of hesitation.....

on a side note, i skipped my 1st class/tutorial for the semester. we, (yes, 5 of us) decided to skip the 1.5hrs tut and went for dinner together. and yeah, we sort of making plans to hv this kind of dinner for the rest of the semester (read as skipping tut) LOL. but it was fun altho it's just dinner. i got to talk with Dear on the phone and then had great companies eating along.

i just dont understand why this Management class here is so boring compared to the Mgmt classes i took back in Purdue. what make it soo more boring is the fact that the class has 300+ students in it. i guess i'm too used having only 15-30 people in a classroom..

*mmm... i miss Dear.. it always becomes harder at night time. i'll miss him more & really wish to just fall asleep in his arms.. long distance sucks.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010


low self-esteem
insecure, very
bottom of the wreck

mood: suicidal

the question

i dont know how long i could escape from it....

i know of the solution but i dont think i'm capable of facing the consequences of doing so.

not that there is no glimpse of chance, but i just dont know how to make it possible without hurting other.

the result is pretty simple, both at the extremes.

whether i'm very happy or i might loose the meaning of living..

at this point, non-existence would be the easiest measure.. isnt it?

Sunday, March 07, 2010

2nd week

it's march 7th, 2010.. tmrw is the 2nd week of class.. as of today, there are tonnes of things to be done. everything is still a mess and i'm hoping that they could clear out before the end of the week..

matter of heart, i still hope that i'm not here despite all the things he sais. the challenge seems to be tougher and i've never need him more than this ever..

just pray that everything will be fine..

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

no words can describe...

i wanna stay....
You're better then the best
I'm lucky just to linger in your light
Cooler then the flip side of my pillow, that's right
Completely unaware
Nothing can compare to where you send me,
Lets me know that it's ok, yeah it's ok
And the moments where my good times start to fade
You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile
Even when you're gone
Somehow you come along
Just like a flower poking the sidewalk crack and just like that
You steal away the rain and just like that
Don't know how I lived without you
Cuz everytime that I get around you
I see the best of me inside your eyes
You make me smile
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild

Monday, March 01, 2010

it's monday... and i'm going back to Sydney on wednesday...

for some reason, this time i felt heavy-hearted.. i dont know why..
but it just feel wrong..
and really really sad :(