spellbound..

"I don't think I can laugh anymore. I am very tired. I am not happy. Not the least bit happy. I will have to live this lifetime all alone. Maybe if I die no-one will even know. What kind of a man will love me? All of you ask me if I'm lonely. I said I'm not. I said I am happy being alone. But how can I not be lonely? There are days when I don't even say a single word. I don't even know if I am alive. Why do I always say that I am happy, that I am fine? Because if I don't do that I might go crazy, feel like I'm about to die. I do yearn for happiness. I also want to laugh. I also want to be happy...to have happiness."

atam